You know when you've just spent ages on something and the end result is that it just doesn't work. You know when it's the first time in ages you've been completely alone and so there's a certain amount of pressure to use the time wisely and it just doesn't happen. You compile what you think is a dreamy series of short videos that inspire you and you hope others and somehow that dreaded html or whatever it is starts getting mixed up even though you put adequate spaces and all of a sudden all of the videos have the wrong titles and it feels like your heart is going to burst out of your chest in a BAD way! It feels particularly distressing because you've already re-done it THREE times!!
You know that feeling when you're really pleased that you've finally purchased (or rather you're hubby generously has but you're too grumpy to even be grateful) that thing you've been talking about wanting for ages but now you don't have time to put it effectively into place and only part one of a two part act has been completed and suddenly you feel all defeatist and wonder why you even actioned part one. You decide you'll treat your afro to a deep condition instead, a lengthy process that I like to perform in solitude, except when I arrive at the bathroom cabinet I am reminded that my household now has enough afro and wafro (diluted form of afro that my off spring bare) to begin producing wigs and in actual fact the meagre amount of conditioner left just will not do. It just ain't happening today! My heart is thumping in anticipation of my family's return as this will signal my time is up and I am panicked because I do not know when I shall be alone next.
Some days I think that perhaps I'm one of those people that should just take off, to live alone in the woods somewhere making houses for my pigeon friends, day dreaming about Mike Tyson visiting me in the wilderness to give me tips on how to make my birds fly long. He'd maybe even have time for a nice camomile and spiced apple tea which I'd make using water boiled on my traditional ghanaian coalpot and then I'd ask Mike about those neck exercises. I'd say 'Hey Mike, one day I'm going to be champion of the world' and he'd reply 'Yeah I can see it's true, it's right there in your eyes'.