Inspiration

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Books. It always starts with books. The ones that are as familiar as dear friends, the ones that I don't know so well but would like to spend more time with and get to know better. The ones that I dip into, the ones that look good and make me feel good. There are all kinds that line my shelves and make me feel all manner of things and when I'm feeling restless and in need of a pick me up, that's where I turn. Half term is around the corner and these days I like to prepare early and build in a time for me to escape and re-charge, even if that means just half an hour. I know from experience that having that little bit of time makes me a nicer mummy and also a kinder wife. I've spent the last few weeks reading and note taking and dipping into several books at a time. I've been gathering images and photographs and cut out articles and newspaper clippings and old drawings and old songs, snippets of sound pieces and bits and pieces tucked under books on my bedside table. I've been trying to make sense of the many things that I have foraged over these months that I know are part of something, my next story, my next creative chapter. So during half term when I'm lost in busyness, I will spend a little time looking closely at these treasures that I have gathered. Sometimes when I'm in the thick of this foraging and sifting and pulling it together phase, I like to think of myself as playing many parts, like an actor. I think of my artist self, my writer self, my mother self. I think of all of these selves and what role they each play, sometimes certain selves feel like they're sinking, struggling to come up for air, another self is taking all of the attention. Swings and roundabouts. Swings and roundabouts. Sometimes just to breathe, I picture myself as someone else, maybe me, another me. I throw on a pair of jeans and a vest top, drive to Mexico with the rooftop down, hit the nearest and cutest beachside bar, order myself a mojito and smoke that cigarette that I promised myself I'd never smoke. It feels good. Oh so good. I close then open my eyes and it feels like a fleeting moment and a lifetime all at once and that's when I remember. You really don't need to leave home or travel far to have an adventure and be inspired. This I know. 

Journaling

My square paper moleskine journal plus some treasured family photographs

There's a time and a place for everything so they say and lately I have taken to writing in a journal once again. I did so all through my teens, through the early years of being married, through university and early baby days. I have some gaps but it is something I normally return to. It has been a while since I've done so since lots of my thoughts I record here.

My current journal contains uncensored, unedited thoughts and snippets of lots of conversations I've had with folks most recently or overheard. Things spoken by strangers or that I could never put names to because I don't believe the individuals would necessarily want that exposure but things that have made me laugh, things that I've considered clever, so very clever and some things rude or inappropriate that others have experienced, caused or witnessed. I'll provide an example, this is a favourite that I recorded a few weeks ago:

Person number one: My dad called a man 'fat' at a wedding?

Person number two: Guffaw ... what do you mean, randomly?

Person number one: Well no, he's a friend of the family and the last time we saw him my dad was pretty disgusted that  ... well in his words 'he'd let himself go'. So, at the venue they'd had to create a specific space for him where he would ...  er, fit!

Person number two: I'm going to start writing these stories down because they only ever happen to you, all these things! So carry on ...

Person number one: So my dad sees him and the first thing he says is 'you're still big then!' 

cybermummy 2011 - my first blogger's conference.

At the week-end I travelled to London to attend my first bloggers conference 'cybermummy'. Since attending cybermummy I have had no urge to blog at all. This is not because I did not enjoy myself, on the contrary I had a wonderful time. It's merely that I was provided with so much information and context with regard to blogging that it rendered me rather speechless! All of a sudden I am questioning everything that I am writing. This will pass I am sure.

I've never been very good at quick summaries and so I won't attempt one about cybermummy, you can read all about how the day unfolded here and here. What I will talk about is how I came to know about cybermummy. I blogged about an old friend a while ago and mentioned that she was the person to inspire the creation of this blog. Well, thanks to facebook Mama -and more! and I are now back in touch and had been looking for any excuse to meet up after sixteen years passing since our last encounter - which incidentally was my wedding I believe! So I then received an invitation to cybermummy, which was going to involve learning more about blogging, a stay in London without the kids and a reunion with an old friend - perfect!

After a couple of pokes at Mama - and more! to make sure she was real it was back to business of old. I love it when it's just so effortless being in the company of another, especially after sixteen years. Sadly amidst conference chaos I just didn't think to take any proper pics of this very beautiful lady or of our time at the conference, we were too busy scoffing food and carrying off freebies!!! It is fair to say though that a good time was had by all and I am pleased to say that the day was worth the ticket price and I'd definitely do it all again.