Monday, 31 January 2011

Food for the soul

stuart & elliott - saturday morning breakfast in bed

You are either a person who likes lists or you're not, personally I can't get enough of them! Lists do the thinking on the spot that my brain no longer seems capable of, they help to make my world feel more orderly and they remind me that tomorrow is another day.

One of my greatest achievements over the last few years has been learning to manage my own expectations of myself. After having my children and having young one's needs to cater for I still couldn't quite let go of 'the old me' and all that she could do and manage.

I spent quite some time feeling frustrated, with very unrealistic ideas of what I could accomplish in very little time. I would reach the end of the working day unable to tick anything off my list as no tasks had really been completed. If only I had known back then that I was simply writing the wrong tasks down, I would have experienced a lot more gratification when I took my pencil and list in hand at bedtime each night.

My lists looked a little like this:

* hand write letters to friends and relatives
* complete new set of drawings by end of week
* remember birthdays and post presents to those you won't see in advance
* work out three times this week(at least)
* edit captured sounds and make new sound piece
* de-clutter house
* re-read my favourite books and read new books too
* invite x, y & z round for gourmet meal

When really they should have looked more like this:

* have shower lasting 10mins max
* cook 3 square meals
* keep on top of washing
* read the week-end papers before end of the month
* clean, dress, play with, entertain and love my children
* manage adult conversation with hubby on subject other than our children
* feel joy at getting Zach to school on time each day
* value daily smiles, waves and conversations with the owners of the local boutique, the lovely people at the local cafe's I frequent, 'Bill' the local handyman, the brilliant lollipop men(the one that's the keen cyclist and the very kind faced Irish one), good looking gay guy whose name I still don't know some three odd years later, the kind regulars from the supermarkets who notice all the changes in my children and engage with them affectionately, 'moody face' from Boots who always sneaks a smile in just when I feel sceptical, beautiful Daniella who breaks and warms my heart all at the same time and who has taught me so much about the strength and fighting spirit of the Roma .... I could go on ....

I am definitely much more realistic these days and I am more gentle with myself too. A little and often can go a long way and it is certainly the method I am employing for this blog to both exist and develop. The wonderful thing with blogging is that whatever your quirks or interests, it is more than likely that you'll find someone else out there that shares those same quirks or interests. It has been a real incite exploring the blogging community, it is so exciting to discover people using their blogs to describe not just the day to day but who they are and how they fit into the world. So you can imagine my joy when I came across another blogger who delights in lists as much as I do and who has infact made one particularly delicious and beautiful list that has been feeding my soul for weeks!!

Hula Seventy stirred such excitement in me that I too felt inspired to make a LIST!

List one: a few nibbles to feed my soul
  1. coco rosie's hairnet paradise
  2. du buh du and the pretty dolls
  3. exquisite drawings by sarah goudie
  4. lenny kravitz 'live' anytime anyplace
  5. jean francois coen's la tour de pise and michel gondry's beautiful video(this is additionally special because it makes me think of my hubby)
  6. re-watching lost in translation
  7. the truth and the questions by sabrina ward harrison
  8. the delights of the pitt rivers museum
  9. annie hall
  10. esme redzepova's early version of 'romano horo'

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