From the start line 2011

Five years ago I gave birth to my first son Zach and made the decision to give up work to be a stay at home mum. I had been based in a city museum & art gallery working as a creative learning officer managing projects linked to the museum and gallery collections and working with artists and schools.

It was not a tough decision for me at the time to leave my job despite the fact that it was up until that point, the best paying job that I had ever had(getting paid well in the arts is tough!). I was ready to be a mum. Hubbie and I had already been married 10 years, we had married young, I was 20 and he was 21 and for many years we had talked about liking the idea that one of us would be at home with our longed for baby. So, it happened to be me.

Then two years ago I gave birth to my second boy Elliott and again made the decision to stay at home with both the boys whilst doing bits and bobs of freelance working as an Artist in schools. I have to say the last five years have been the most demanding and exhausting and wonderfully rewarding years of my life. However, I would be lying if I didn't admit to a crisis of identity and a confusion about who I am now, post small babies.

The joy here is that I am actually free enough to have these thoughts now! I have written this first blog entry a hundred times in my head, it has at times been eloquent and honest at other times angry and unfair and hard on loved ones, it has been unsure and insecure, brave and controlled, so many things it has been ... but it has up until now been 'my so called blog'. A blog that I have written and never posted(much to the amusement of hubbie).

So, to kick off 2011 I have decided to be brave and to share some of those private thoughts. Instead of notes, thoughts, ideas and drawings gathering dust under my bed, I hope to share them here instead. It may take some time but this is a great leap for me right now. I'm happy with this. 2011 is going to be a good year!