Cut Stories

I cut stories to make sense of my fingers and my thoughts and to find a place where they can play together, be together. I cut stories out of nothing, scraps and throw aways, keepsakes and papers and things collected over the years. Sometimes they come and then I don't like them, so they are torn and crumpled and weathered and scratched until I like what I see and sometimes, that just never happens. I cut stories so that I don't have to make any up or speak of any, I can just cut and stick and think endless thoughts. I can keep an eye on Mike Tyson v Evander Holyfield and one eye on the cream like acrylic that I smear to conceal and scratch to reveal. And when you watch boxing whilst cutting stories, before you know it you're speaking in rhymes like you're Cassius Clay on a fine, fine day and that's why I'm trying to cut a story each day. So here are days one, two, three and four, and maybe, just maybe if I keep the mood there'll be more. 

* For Lydia, who pulled a dying insect from my vaseline covered lips and pointed out the dry white acrylic patch on my wrist that I'd missed when cleaning up before the school run, and for prompting me to blog instead of just thinking about it!

Me and my boy

I just came across this photo of hubbie and I and saw an opportunity for a quick post. This photo was taken about three years ago I think and I was about 5 months pregnant with my second son Elliott.

Hubbie and I had a great inspirational chat last night about our thoughts, dreams and ambitions for 2011 and I came away from it feeling truely motivated!

Hubbie and I met at college whilst both of us were studying Art, we then both went on to study Fine Art at the same university, hubbie being the year above me but still within the same department. This has meant that over the last 17 years we have worked closely alongside one another and we have also been shamelessly competitive(he's a middle child and I am the youngest of four children, we've alot to prove!!). We were also in a band together for many years(more on this another time)and have created and exhibited sound installation work collaboratively for many years too.

However, in more recent times with the varied and increasing demands on our time, we have not allocated much of our time to talk through our creative ambitions or indeed spent much time reflecting on our joint or individual journeys as Artists. Last night was a wonderful reminder of times long passed when you just knew you weren't getting any sleep because you had an idea to explore and with fire in your belly you did just that until you got the results you were looking for ..... I'm ready to call myself an Artist again.

From the start line 2011

Five years ago I gave birth to my first son Zach and made the decision to give up work to be a stay at home mum. I had been based in a city museum & art gallery working as a creative learning officer managing projects linked to the museum and gallery collections and working with artists and schools.

It was not a tough decision for me at the time to leave my job despite the fact that it was up until that point, the best paying job that I had ever had(getting paid well in the arts is tough!). I was ready to be a mum. Hubbie and I had already been married 10 years, we had married young, I was 20 and he was 21 and for many years we had talked about liking the idea that one of us would be at home with our longed for baby. So, it happened to be me.

Then two years ago I gave birth to my second boy Elliott and again made the decision to stay at home with both the boys whilst doing bits and bobs of freelance working as an Artist in schools. I have to say the last five years have been the most demanding and exhausting and wonderfully rewarding years of my life. However, I would be lying if I didn't admit to a crisis of identity and a confusion about who I am now, post small babies.

The joy here is that I am actually free enough to have these thoughts now! I have written this first blog entry a hundred times in my head, it has at times been eloquent and honest at other times angry and unfair and hard on loved ones, it has been unsure and insecure, brave and controlled, so many things it has been ... but it has up until now been 'my so called blog'. A blog that I have written and never posted(much to the amusement of hubbie).

So, to kick off 2011 I have decided to be brave and to share some of those private thoughts. Instead of notes, thoughts, ideas and drawings gathering dust under my bed, I hope to share them here instead. It may take some time but this is a great leap for me right now. I'm happy with this. 2011 is going to be a good year!