It has taken some time to come here, I haven't known what to say and so I have been waiting. And waiting. I've been doing a lot of thinking, some searching, mostly about what I would like 2013 to look like. I have been clearing, both mentally and practically in my home and finding and making links to ideas that have not yet been born. Some of this work has been tricky and some of it just timely. I discovered something about myself a few days ago, something that perhaps I already knew, something that perhaps I was keeping beneath the surface. I am a procrastinator.
I was talking with my hubby and my friend Roxy when I myself made the discovery. At first I smiled and questioned it, surely I am just a 'thinker' I said to my inner self, 'a deliberator'. But then my heart raced quickly with shock as I determined this truth, my inner self finally accepting the whispers.
It has been relief to hear this truth and know that I can change it. This new found truth forced me to laugh at the misguidedness of other words that I had considered as my choice to guide me through the year. I had thought 'Light' was my word but since letting some light in, I now see that I must simply 'DO'.
So there we have it, my chosen word 'DO' is what I hope will guide me in 2013. Sometimes just a gentle nudge is needed and sometimes a huge push is what's required. Acceptance is everything or so they say, I'd have to agree. Now that I've accepted this, I'm just gonna get on and 'DO' whatever it is that's got to be done. I started yesterday with updating my cv, getting in touch with some old employers and making a short list of places I would like to carry out some voluntary work. Seven years is a long time to have NOT been in full time paid work. I didn't have time to consider this yesterday because I decided to edit and send. I think I like this new method .... for how long I do not know.
My biggest barrier to DO is worrying about ending up in bigger do do. My fear of failure/ humiliation is the enemy of my do. For me, thinking by doing is first step towards do, and before I know it, I'm doing.
ReplyDeleteI remember Helga Henry in a BS training thingy giving the example of picking up a mobile phone. Can you try to pick up a mobile? No - you pick it up or you don't. There's no trying, is what she said.
But that doesn't explain why 'do' can be hard. I think that's because there are no barriers to picking up a phone outside of your control. If you are relying on others, or worrying about other people's opinion (important in collaborative, or pretty much any kind of work) then sometimes trying is the best you can do.
What are your barriers to doing?
Thanks for post and happy NY!
Fear and in particular fear of failure is a huge barrier for me too Marcus. There are things that I 'DO' intuitively where I have no fear and where I feel very much that I succeed and flourish but there are always those places deep in ones psyche where dark clouds hang above. I'm banishing bad weather and these gloomy forecasts for the foreseeable future!
ReplyDeleteWishing you a very bright 2013!