|Our first year of marriage, he was 21 and I was 20.|
It's in the memories. Like the first time that he saw me and I waved from the car my friend was driving and he was riding his bike and although I didn't see, he was so flustered that he took a corner and fell off his bike! It's also like the time he rode home on his bike whilst carrying lilies like the ones I carried on our wedding day and how they were a little smashed from the journey which made me love them all the more. Like how when he doesn't want to forget something he writes a note in pen on his hand. It's in the way he touches my hair on the rare occasion that I wear it down. In the way that he looks across the room at me sometimes when it's just us two. It's in the way we fight and drive each other crazy and know that we're in this thing forever. Like when there are quiet times and hard times and not-on-a-wave-length times and your hearts bleed a little, but still, you know. It's present in the simple things, the shoulder rubs and favourite meals, the warming of cold toes against warm ones, watching stuff that you just don't find that funny to keep the other one company, it's in looking up from your phone and saying you care. It's in the letters we wrote each other twenty years ago and in this picture that I found right amongst the stash of letters today. It is in remembering how you felt at the beginning and knowing you want that forever and fighting to keep it a part of you always because that's the spark. That's what started it all and no matter what, you just don't want that ever to go out.