'small things make me happy like listening to easy like a sunday morning'
Every week for quite a few now, on monday night I've had that sunday night feeling. The feeling you'd get when you were still at school and you knew you hadn't done your homework and you couldn't get to sleep because it was on your mind. That one. I realised the other day that it's because writing 'All About You' is something that I find difficult at the moment when my life seems to be hanging in the balance. It feels like homework to write about myself right now and when I do I feel like I see red pen all over the place, corrections, suggestions, notes from the teacher if you will (the other crazy me in my head).
This week I thought I'd think about something that was positive and not whiny that was all about me. It turns out that this was a huge challenge because I do feel kinda negative and whiny. In fact it made me realise just how many times in the last week alone I have made negative comments or rolled my eyes that way that I do or made flippant derogatory comments about myself in front of my children until their brows furrowed or how I proudly told the dads that I was chatting to at our kids saturday morning football about my list of 'things that make me angry' and quickly began listing. They're nice guys who I enjoy some banter with so it's not so bad that I told them that their 'excessive unnecessary body movements' were going to make it onto my list but I'm self aware enough (honestly) to understand that no one wants that sucky negative thinker in their vicinity. Even if they are being a little bit funny, it quickly loses appeal.
So I began thinking of some of the things that I like to do and doing them. Reading biographies, watching boxing, baking at home, drawing with B pencils, listening to songs that I love but haven't heard for a long time. It's really helpful too when you have friends with similar tastes to you. My friend who lives in America has the most beautiful nostalgic boards on pinterest. This week I looked at just one of her boards to get some inspiration to fill me with more positivity and lift and you know it has done wonders. I definitely plan on making more plans to do a few more of the things that make me happy. I know that still sounds a little wishy washy and that plannin' ain't doin' but it's a step in the right direction. Even though it was the weekly emphasis on 'you' that really drew me to All About You, I got a little lost along the way, I always do as time passes. My mood changes so frequently and with it my ability to turn up emotionally and share or to find that window for some 'me' time and to enjoy a simple pleasure. So, this week I'm set on enjoying some small things. Still warm donuts in paper bags, a game of scrabble playing against myself just like my granny used to do, going on a spontaneous trip to the cinema alone and browsing through some vinyl and thinking of friends in far away places and writing them letters by hand. Have a happy week folks! What's on your happy to do list?