Friday, 30 May 2014


Today I watched my kids hang out at their first skate park. I watched them navigate their way around some older boys and find their own feet, their own fun. I saw some nerves, some disappointment, some victories, some box ticking of new things they'd tried. Today I felt like a 'mum'. I shouted guiding words from the sidelines that related to safety and tried really hard not to add words like 'darling' or 'honey' or 'sweetness' or 'gorgeous boy' at the end of my sentences - you know, because of the older boys. Today I watched some teenagers hanging out and felt real pride in their good example. It made me realise how much of a 'mom' I am. It made me realise how much I like teenagers and made me aware how much I am morphing into a boy myself. It made me think of one of my best friends who thought she was a boy when she was growing up, I think she still does. She wears the best shorts and motif t-shirt combo's ever. Fact! She says 'fact' like that too to make her point! Today I nearly had a heart attack each time that youngest of mine ignored specific instructions not to stand with his back to the escalators, to not walk or run up the escalators or let go of my hand in the middle of the road or the middle of town or indeed hide from me by squeezing into the small crack at the side of the Krispy Kreme section in Selfridges. Today I did a really good impression of my nearly nine year old stropping about like a pre-teen. He laughed and I love that about him. When I was his age, I remember the tautness of my stomach muscles, built from resisting the laughter that pulls you from those bad moods. Today my hubby bought a flat cap and combined with the recently shaved off beard and that hipster moustache, I had two words for him. Billy Zane! And then we laughed. Today I celebrated having no foot pain, it's been a while and it was dragging me down. It turns out that if you're patient and you actually do the exercises and stretches that the podiatrist and physio recommended and stick at it, stuff gets better. Who knew!!! Today I kept thinking of some heart warming words that my friend down under sent to me. I love it when people really see you, even from miles and miles away, they see you. Today I looked at a painting that my niece gave to me. I looked at it hard and knew then as I know now that each time I look at it, I will see her, really see her even though she will soon be miles and miles and a continent away. I will think of that day when all the kids were watching dogtanion and I played with her hair, that same day that she gave the painting that she knew I so loved. The one with the words 'God loves You'. Today I missed a call from my big sister and I didn't get chance to call her back and now it's 9.41pm and it's past the cut off so it will have to be tomorrow now. You do know the cut off is after 9pm right? No calls after 9pm unless it's been pre-approved of course! Today I am drinking wine and eating crisps alone whilst watching my old VHS tapes. So far I've hummed along to Prince, watched Nirvana accept some award at the 1993 MTV awards and now I'm expectantly awaiting that episode of Beverly Hills 90210. The one where Brenda and Dillon get it together. Today it's been pretty great, one of those good ones.

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