Thursday, 10 February 2011

Looking back

Over the last few days Elliott has been unwell. Big brother Zach was off school on monday with a nasty cough and come tuesday morning Elliott had succumbed to the cold and cough too, worse still it has aggrivated his asthma. Needless to say I haven't had much time to myself this week or indeed much sleep.

These last few days, particularly at night when Elliott has climbed into bed with us wimpering with his high temperature, lungs screaming for air, and him pawing at my skin trying to find the right nook to get comfortable and what I can only describe as him trying to burrow his way back into my womb .... well ... it has taken me back to those early days with a newborn Elliott, the nightly feeds, the sleeping on our chests, the stirring every two hours, the restlessness, the wanting to be as physically close to you as possible.

When Elliott's breathing has been extremely laboured, particularly during the night over the last couple of nights, after giving him his inhaler it has really been a real comfort to me to watch Elliott's breathing stabilize as soon as I lie him against my chest, his breaths adjusting to mirror mine. Of course I do not doubt the impact of his medication, it is amazing and life saving but so too is skin to skin and I have loved every minute of medicating my boy 'old school' style too.

The experience this week of seeing Elliott as vulnerable and little again has made me reflective about his time in this world, a whole two and a half years now. I started re-reading a diary that I kept from his early baby days and looking at heaps of baby photos and simply enjoying re-living his days up until now. Indulge me as I take a look at a few favourite photos and look back on the happy times that this boy has brought us!

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