Gathered Together

Image by Stuart Tonge

On sunday afternoon, after visiting my mum we decided to take a walk in an orchard nearby before heading home. We parked the car under a pretty, blossom heavy tree that immediately began showering us with its soft petal confetti. We each separately remarked how sweet it was and after watching the boys catching the flying petals for a little while, we then went on our way. When we returned to the car after our walk in the woods and a meadow and through the orchard, we found our car's roof covered in the prettiest display of blossom. Beautiful pastel pink flowers scattered perfectly upon our roof. I then shouted 'we're getting married!' as I often do when I see flowers on our family walks. At that moment our boys smiled and then my eldest said 'look up, there are wild birds'. We each looked up as the blossom carried on its showering petal serenade and as I dismissed my boy's comment, suddenly I saw exactly what he did - two green parrots. 'There are two more above them mum!'. Indeed there were, four green parrots in the local park near my mother's house! Where they had come from I do not know, but they were together and they looked lovingly at one another and groomed one another. We even watched them rub their beaks together and kiss. It was quite something. We eventually peeled ourselves away and got back into our prettied car and in a sentimental moment, I couldn't help but think that those parrots represented each of us in our family and I began thinking of the four of us, flying free perhaps travelling and turning up somewhere unlikely. Clinging to one another for support, needing only each other to face the times ahead. As we pulled away and caught our last glimpse of the blossoming tree with the four wild birds, I said to my hubby. 'We should renew our vows and get married again'. He said 'yes!' enthusiastically and as we began talking about our twentieth wedding anniversary coming up later in the year, our eldest said 'Can I marry you right now? I think I've read about people being able to do that as long as you use the right words'. So right there and then he uttered some eloquent words and some familiar ones and asked us to kiss, and kiss we did along the quiet lane leading out to take us home. Then our youngest boy decided to take part too and he chose his very own words to speak to each of us. At times his words can trip and dance, pirouetting and taking a little time to spill out, part of the dyslexia legacy that his father has passed down to him. However, much like his father does, he found the perfect words to capture the sentiment and the occasion. Again he too gave his permission for us to kiss. And just like that, before our boys, we got married and it was as simple as could be and it was a moment. A small and quiet moment that rested between the noise and the daily humdrum. Never to be forgotten but carefully stored in the pages of my mind, pressed like you do a flower, as a happy keepsake.

Image by Stuart Tonge

Looking back over my shoulder

Baby Zach and I in the year I became a mama - 2005

Around this time of year as I begin the count down to my boys birthdays, I often look back and take stock of how times have changed, how we have all changed. I think back to those last few days of being pregnant and the feelings of anticipation that I had with each imminent birth. I look through drawers and cupboards and find old polaroids of happy times some eight years ago when my journey into motherhood began and like a flash I get that warm feeling that perfectly describes 'contentment'. Just the flash of the corners of their mouths turning up in delight as I would push them higher on the swing or when I would find huge amounts of red berries to squish underfoot, when I would pop raspberries on each finger tip and thumb and then watch as each one was devoured in seconds or sing sentimental journey over and over again whilst stroking their foreheads till they fell to sleep. Just like that it's all back, just like that. 

And just like that, the wave of nostalgia sets me back on the path of my own childhood and I pine and remember and become enveloped in the flashes of life, life before now. Some stills are clearer than others, some slip through the gaps and others are clear, so so clear. Then I reach for the hard copies, the treasured photographs, the evidence that I don't simply have an over-active imagination. I have plenty at my grasp but I always pull out the same one. One that I've featured on this blog before and one that I'm sure will feature here again and again. It is my favourite photograph of me from my childhood and it is so because it serves as a great reminder that the best things in life are free, including the bike featured which was off a scrap heap. I've been worrying far too much recently about money and about not having enough for certain things that I want to do and feeling sad about not being able to take the boys to Ghana for the summer because of finances. This photograph reminds me that life can be simple and beautiful, I was never happier than when my feet were bare and I was outdoors having an adventure with not much more than a piece of string tied really tightly around my waist. (I thought I looked more like Sue Ellen that way!) I was reminded of that just today as I watched the boys playing football in our small back garden on the grass that is worn from their adventures, smiling as I noted that their football posts were in fact beans tins from the recycling box. They had peeled the labels off the tins, obviously for the sake of authenticity!

Today is my big sister's birthday, another reason for feeling nostalgic. Once more, I searched through family albums today looking for a picture of her that would describe my big sister, not my big sister as she is to others or her qualities or identity but how I saw her all those years ago. How a part of me still sees her today and will forever more. When I was little I thought she was 'a fixer', if something wasn't right she would fix it. She would never say 'I think I can sort this out', she would always say 'I can sort this out' well at least in my mind anyway. In fact in reality too, for example a few years back when the man at the florists sold my reserved christmas tree, my other sister and I reported back to big sis what had happened and she fixed it! I chose this picture of her (see below) because this is the face of a 'fixer'. I had every confidence in her then just as I do now. 

Zach aged 1year +2days on July 2006

My favourite photograph of myself as a child 

'The Fixer'

Some things we did during the easter holidays

Played with light sabres in the garden. Went for hot chocolates at the french cafe on a cold and rainy morning. Roleplayed characters from Star Wars and Star Wars - The Clone Wars. Posed for daddy so that he could take pictures. Used Ikea packaging for an outdoor drawing project. Visited Cadbury World after Zach talking and saving up for it for weeks. Jumped in muddy puddles a minute from the house whilst waiting for dinner to finish cooking in the oven. Emptied water filled muddy boots on the doorstep after an adventure. Visited the Ikon Gallery. Watched 1970's cartoons on a lap top in bed together. Had a chicken feast in the back garden. Pulled funny faces in Pret a Manger. Bought lego mini figures - series seven from John Lewis. Had a memorable feast at Yo Sushi. Queued at Krispy Kreme, Selfridges and then received free glazed donuts. Rode our bikes in Cannon Hill park and Bruton park a lot. Saw lots of cousins and had a lovely time playing. Had picnics in the car on two separate ocassions  due to bad weather conditions. Took off with daddy to the Lickey Hills for a long, long walk whilst mum had some time to herself. Gathered the flowers from the camillia bushes. Listened to mummy describe her top three falls off her bike and laughed and laughed. Measured our heights against the sitting room wall and marked it in pencil. Wrapped ourselves in hand knitted blankets made by Grandma whilst watching Blue Planet. Chatted to a lovely gentleman near Knowle Lochs who explained about different bait whilst we watched him catching little fish, for fun of course not to eat. Listened to Gillian Welch in the car. 

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

The beginning of the year appears to be that time annually that one by one, each member of my family and I succumb to illness, normally in the form of bad colds or flu like symptoms. So, it started with me and now it has hit my poor hubby and my baby! Hubby does not appear in any of our week-end pics because he was indoors doing battle with a high temperature and the shivers. Not long after I took pics of the three of us playing in the snow in our back garden, my little one began looking heavy eyed and was a little teary, which is very unlike him and that evening came the dreaded high temperatures and shivers plus bunged up nose. Yesterday, whilst big brother was preparing for a party my little one asked to make a snowman and so we did just that. Our 'masterpiece' was completed in fifteen minutes and then it was time for a rest and a cuddle again whilst sipping a little warm cocoa. February, here is to wellness!