Monday, 17 June 2013

Sometimes life is still enough to notice the dancing shadows

Sometimes, life is still enough to notice the dancing shadows and I love it when it's like this even if it's just for a little while. To feel heat on the soles of your feet, to drink in the smell of the head of your little ones, to sit side by side in silence with each party deeply caught up in their book, their story, digits  and skin occasionally touching, making happy goosebumps as they make contact.

We've had many seasons in a short time. A nasty tummy bug took the eldest boy out for five days over half term. He wanted only me close by his side and he talked and talked, through fever, through pain, he talked and talked. We found a rhythm of old and I quietly enjoyed the memory of early baby days. Waking to check them. Waking to check them. Waking and being woken.

Rediscovering a joy toy from my childhood - the speedball. The eldest and I played this for hours in our backgarden on those generous sunny days we were bestowed as he regained his strength. Those other members of our clan escaped the confines of our house and headed out on adventures of their own. Apparently that youngest boy of ours smiled the biggest of all smiles when he got to ride alongside his papa in the front seat of the car for the first time. He made his first trip to the tip and completed his first solo weekly food shop with his dad - no mean feat I tell you, initiations into manhood for sure!

There was an impromptu mother/son date on a rainy day when two boys were experiencing cabin fever. They were circling and dancing round one another ready to attack like two cocks in a sand pit readying to fight till the death or at least in the moment it felt that intense and in any case there's nothing quite like a little one to one time and especially when it involves maple syrup and american pancakes!

There have been quiet times. Some time all alone with my man, plotting and hoping and chatting and praying about the future, precious soul time with my soul mate. Quiet times alone, reading and writing and taking notes and thinking, processing. Lots of time with dear friends, catching up, listening in, being supported and leaning some their way too. Time spent considering the hardships and trials either faced by me or those around me. I started to think about all of this and I realised that sometimes life is still enough to endure the hard stuff. The stillness leaves enough room for you to step back and notice all the of the crop that is ready to harvest. There is plenty in the fields and plenty more to gather and there will be a feast people, there really will be. So go and gather and bring the feast to the table and share it with those around you and with those that you hold dear.   


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